Galerians on Crack!
by Steve Teh Wizard
Summary: Random fanficton based off Ideas my friend and I made.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: don't own much

This idea came from my friend and I while we were at school.

Galerians on Crack!

(Mushroom Tower)

Rion: Here's one without a name.

?: (Girly sounding voice) That's you Rion.

Rion: What the? Who are you?

Cain: (Still girl voice) I'm Cain you silly goose.

Lillia: (Eye starts to twitch)

Rion: You look just like me!?

Cain: Why shouldn't I hot stuff?

Rion: What the f--. (Censored that word for sure)

Lillia: I think it's the tight outfit that makes him sound a little faggy.

Cain: Well let's fight and then have some cookies.

Rion: F-- this!

--

(That computer room where Rion talks to Ash)

?: Hello Rion.

Rion: Ash..

Ash: Yes it is.

Rion: What do you plan to do with mankind.

Ash: I don't know... I didn't think i'd get this far, but I guess I must confess something..

Rion: What?

Ash: I'm not a man..

Rion: Oo?

Ash: I'm a woman.

Rion: Oo?

Ash: Shocking isn't it?

Rion: Oo? What the f--g God! I knew it, I f--g knew it!

Ash: Ok?

(Random place)

Nitro: I'm fat.

Parano: I'm mentally retarted.

Spider: I'm not a spider... I'm a pretty butterfly!

Parano and Nitro: Oo!

Ash: All of you are the fattest and stupidest people I ever met!

(Random street corner)

Ash: Ok Rion lets be best friends!

Rion: Ok. (Hold hands and start to cross the street)

(Car hits them)

Lillia(In car): I think I just killed someone. (Pause looks around car) Oooh cookie!

A/n: This was my first Galerians fanfiction. I will make more if I get good feedback this is just the test run.


	2. Dance Party!

Disclaimer: I hyothetically have this game.

Chapter 2

( That room Rion fights Nitro the second time)

Rion: (Starts to choke and electricute Nitro)

Nitro: ( As Lillia) It's me Lillia.

Rion: No it's not.

Nitro: Fine! ( Turns into Barney) I love you. You love me. We're a happy fam...

Rion: ( Blows her up)

(The shelter)

Capn' Romero: Why do you keep screwing up our plans?

Rion: I don't know.

Capn: YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO NOW!

Rion: What?

Capn: DANCE PARTY!

Rion: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(That vortex area where Ash shoots himself)

Ash: All of it was me?

Rion: Wait don't shoot yourself I have a song to sing!

Ash: Oo?

Rion: Ok.. My balogna has a first name is O.S.C.A.R!

Ash: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.( Pulls trigger)

(Hyper sleep room)

Rion: (Wakes up) Ahhh where are my clothes?!

Lillia: Rion your back!

Rion: Wait?

Lillia: What?

Rion: This was just a plot to get me naked isn't it?

Lillia: No...(Crosses fingers behind her back)

(Nuclear factory)

Ash: (Kisses Rion)

Rion: EW why did you kiss me ew uhg! ( Grabs Ash's head and makes out with him)

(Mushroom Tower)

Cain: (Starts choking Rion)

Rion: Stop raping me!

(Dorthy Room)

Dorthy: Rion before you kill me I have one thing to say.

Rion: What?

Dorthy: Your fat!

Rion: :o

End! Please review it makes me happy.


	3. Hobo's

Disclaimer: Don't own much but I owned Ash in the first fight (Bustanor ftw)!

Chap 3

A/n: I noticed I'm not doing Galerians: Rion as much. So this chapter is going to have more of that.

(Rion's house)

Rion: (Sends birdman flying)

Birdman: (Gets up and laughs in that high pitched voice) Rion it's my last warning tell me where Lillia is?!

Rion: THAT'S IT! I HATE THAT F--G LAUGH! THAT LAUGH IS DRIVING ME UP A F--G WALL! (Pulls out a rocket launcher) DIE!

Birdman: Aw crap!

(Drug guy's room)

Drugy: I see your addicted to druuuuuugggggggs!

Rion: What?

Drugy: I said Druuuuuuuuuuugggggggggs!

Rion: Well I need nalcon and...

Drugy: Those are special druuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggs!

Rion: Can you stop that.

Drugy: Stop what? Drugs.

Rion: Nevermind.

(Babylon Hotel where Lillia was)

Rion: Who are you?

Rita: Rita I've come to blow your head off!

Rion: ( Stares at Rita)

Rita: What?

Rion: (Still stares)

Rita: Oo?

Rion: You have big..

Rita: Oh my God why does everyone say that!

Rion: I don't know?

Rita: Die! (Sends a plastic butter knife at him)

Rion: Ow!

(The shelter)

(Ding dong)

A/n: I relized it was major Ramero not Capn

Major: Who's there.

People: Survivors.

Major: Oh come in.

People: Thanks.

Major: Oh GOD their their...HOBO'S!

Hobo's:

end of chapter


	4. Radiation is a bh

Disclaimer: I was lended this game!

(been a while)

(Spider 2nd boss room)

Spider: You can find Ash's weakness...

Rion: Really what is it?

Spider: O_o Ash really doesn't want it repeated.

Rion: Is it men?

Spider: .... yes.

(Babylon Hotel basement)

Rion: (Has flashback about skip)

Drug guy: It double's your power....cause for some reason I automatically know you have psychic powers......Drugs!

Rion: (Injects skip and yells in rage)

Rita: (Falls to the ground)

Lillia: Ew whats that smell?

Rion: I don't.....know?!?!?! [He farted :)]

(Datastream)

Pat: (Touches Rion with glove)

Rion: Pat?

Pat: Yes?

Rion: Pat....What the hell?

(Or....)

Pat: (Touches Rion with glove)

Rion: Ew you fag your gonna take advantage of the fact I can't move!

(Uranium refinary)

Romero: I think I have heart burn/athletes foot.... My body burns!

Rion: (Injecting red) Why is that?

(Cain fight area)

Cain: So you want to kill mother.

Rion: Maybe...

Cain: Bastard! Mom killer!

Angry moms: (Kick the crap out of Rion)

(Uranium refinary )

Lillia: Radiation is a bitch!

(Ship Pat drives....I guess)

Rion: Oooo, lets play the liscen plate game!

Pat: Okay there's....

Rion: You know it would help if there were other ships flying.

Pat: And other states and countries... What f---ng country are we in anyway?

Rion: O_o

(Ash fight area)

Ash: Laugh Rion you have won.

Rion: HA... ha.. ha.. ha..ha..ha..ha!

Ash: You bastard who would actually laugh!

(Ash fight area again)

Spider: You must return him to his real form!

Rion: His less feminin side?

Spider: Sure...

Parano: You got to admit he really liked his Nitro part.

Nitro: Meh.

Rion: O_o?

End of Chap 4 (Probably the longest one out of the story)


	5. Doritos

Discalimer: Waffles!

Chap 5

(Babylon Hotel Basement)

Rion: Who are you?

Rita: Rita I've come to blow your head off....wait didn't we do this s--t before?

Rion: Did we?

Lillia: I think this guys just really freakin lazy!

Me: That would explain something!

(Hotel basement again!)

Rita: (Throws funiture and glass)

Hotel manager shows up

Manager: No what are doing, no not the china! That costs money. No I bought that tabel from Canada, and you just knocked that girl out with it! Come on!

(Lem's labratory)

Soldier: The doctors gave him red!

Soldier2: Why is called red? I mean fire is orange and why not just call it "flame" or something!

Rion: That bothered me to and what about D-felon what does the D stand for? And why is it so useless!

Solider: God this is going to bother me!

(Dorothy Room)

Dorothy: I'm walking on sunshine yeah!

Rion and Lillia: O_o

A/n: That was just randomness!

(After Spiders death)

Rion: Spider! I finally got why they call him that!

Lillia's voice: Rion are you serious!

Ash: (pops out out of nowhere) Dude wow, that's just sad!

Subzero: In meni yo! (Freezes everyone)

(Lem's laboratory [same discussion])

Rion: And why wasn't freeze a move!

Soldier: We should make Galerians 3, that would be fun!

Soldier4: Or a Galerian, Resident Evil crossover.

Me: (Wink Wink) (coughs) Capcom!

(Survivor hq)

Rion: Ok is there a room hidden from view or unaccesable, because there is about a million zombies and like 5 people in every room!

Romero: That's classified!

Rion: Classified this is post apocolyptic (spelling?) Earth and information is still classified! This game might as well cross over with Fallout 3!

A/n: Interesting idea! But won't work!

(Basement yet again!)

Rita gets knocked off the exploding piano.

Rion: Must avoid horrible pun!! My C flat just kicked your ass!

Rita: (Throws a rock at him)

(Computer room in Rions house.)

Voice: Dorothy became a God.

Demyx: Did someone say Dorothy worship!

(Mushroom tower)

Demyx: Happy dance!

Luxord: Dude what the hell!

(Rainheart fight hallway)

Rion: Some one needs to lay off the Twinkies.

Rainheart: (Sets him on fire)

(Lem's computer room)

Computer: Please enter password!

Rion: (screams) RAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Computer: Password RAHHHHHHHHHHHH! Accepted!

(The real reason Dorothy hates humans)

Human: (Eating doritos) Hello Dorothy!

Dorothy: Dude are you going to share those!

Human: No. (eats another)

(Cain fight room)

Cain: You killed Birdman, you killed Rainheart, you killed Rita!

Rion: Ok she was asking for that one. You don't send embarrising pictures on Facebook and Myspace and get away with it! And then she got some crazy kid to make a Fanfiction making fun of the game series/movie!

Cain: Dude you have issues!

End of Chap 5


	6. Did you notice everyone but Pat died!

Discalimer: Waffles 2 electric pie!

Chap 6

(Ash boss area)

Ash: Hello Rion. Anger took over you and you didn't put your body in an "Appeture Science convient super magical super efficient super organic storage container," You know what that means don't you?

Rion: I just saved money on my car insurance?

Ash: Oooh, Thank you for playing we have some lovely parting gifts for you! Like this brand new soap dispenser!

Rion: Yay!

(Dorothy room)

Rion: Mother? If you created us who is the dad?

Dorothy: GLaDOS from the Appeture science lab!

Lillia: Isn't GLaDOS a girl?

Dorothy: It's called lesbian action sweetie. You'll soon experience that with Nitro.

Lillia: Damn!

(Rion's house)

Rion: Foreclosure! What the hell?_!

(Headquarters)

Guy: Hey you know that base in Michelangelo City (It's there right?)

Another guy: Yeah?

Guy: Have we given them supplies yet?

Other guy: Uh!

Guy: Like the radiation sickness cure!

Other guy: F--k!

(My house)

Me: You know something Rion!

Rion: How the hell did I end up here?

Me: Oh this is where you go if your data is destroyed!

Rion: So I'm in hell!

Me: No, ok yes!

(Racoon city)

Claire: Leon finally we can get out of here!

Leon: Yes! (Looks up) What's that?

(Ash falls on him)

Ash: Ow where am I?

Claire: A place where humans are dying!

Ash: I'm in heaven!

(Portugal)

(Birdman, Rainheart, Rita, Cain, Spider, Parano, and Nitro are there)

Nitro: Where are we?

Rita: I don't know!

Birdman: Let's ask that guy.

Spider: Excuse me sir, where are we?

Man: Your in Purgatory, I AM DEATH!

Parano: Oh I can implant a hearing chip in you.

Cain: I think psychokenises (Spelling) can help you hear.

Rainheart: I have flash cards!

Death: What?!

Rita: Come with us we're going to help you!

Death: Let go!

(Lillia's lab)

Lillia: (Walks in)

Nitro: Hello Lillia!

Lillia: Crap! What is this hell?

Nitro: Well it's layer five.

Lillia: Shouldn't there be a river of blood with people fighting in it!

Nitro: Well...

Subzero: IN MENI YO! (Freezes everyone)

(Ash boss fight area)

Rion: (Wakes up) What happened?

Ash: (Wakes up also) I just had the best dream ever!

Rion: (Throws a rock at him)

End of Chap 6


	7. Snowcones

Disclaimer: Snowcone?

Chapter 7

(Ash boss area)

Ash: Rion do you want a snowcone?

Rion: What?

(Dorothy room)

Dorothy: With the virus program there will be no other obstacles to stand in my way!

Rion: Except the enery bill!

Lillia: And the medical/ life insurance.

Dorothy: Damn!

(Armory)

Cas: (presses detonator)

Bomb fizzes

Cas: WHY!

Subzero: IN MENI YO! (freezes everyone)

(Hyper sleep room)

Rion: Lillia I had a nightmare where Cas died!

Lillia: In ice?

Rion: Yeah!

Subzero: IN MENI YO! (Freezes everyone)

(Datastream)

Ash: (Points gun at Parano) Scum like you have no right to even exist!

Parano: Oh no you didn't!

Subzero: IN MENI YO! (Freezes everyone but Ash breaks out)

Ash: Dude what the hell is with you?

Subzero: I don't know!

Ash: How would you like it if someone froze you!

Subzero: That's only when I feel a little freaky naughty!

Ash: 0_o

A/n: Thanks Shysteph for that phrase [youtube 5 facts about shysteph]

(The data stream)

Rion: The future what's it like?

Pat: Well after Ash's defeat Mortal Kombat moved to town.

Rion: So?

Pat: Lillia didn't die of radiation!

Rion: How'd she die?

Pat: She didn't!

Rion: She won mortal kombat?

Pat: Yeppers!

Rion: PAT DESTROY MY DATA NOW!

(Lab)

Lillia: PPEC's are scattered throughout the building but there aren't many! (Hands him a paper bag) (Whispering) This is some good s--t!

Rion: Thanks Lillia I will use them sparingly!

End of Chap 7


	8. Bagels

Disclaimer: Snowcone II

Chapter 8

(Shelter)

Romero: I could really go for a bagel right now!

Axel: Sorry but they taste like s---t!

(Uranium Refinary)

Rion: Finally got that key card now just to put in the machine!

Machine: Please deposite fifty dollars!

Rion: Why?!

(Steiner house)

Mr. Steiner (Rion's flashback): Some strange men in black coats walking outside my house!

Men: Forclosure! FORCLOSURE!

(Lem's labratory)

Lem: Anyone notice I look like that guy from Yu-Gi-Oh?

(Babylon hotel basement)

Rita: Who puts a restruant in a basement?

Rion: Well it is the future I guess some people like basement food!

(Datastream)

Rion: Three out of five of the original Galerians' names began with R!

(Steiner house)

Birdman: Rion, this is my last warning! Tell me where Lillia is!

Rion: (Silent)

Birdman: Then die!

Rion: You didn't give me a chance to say anything!

Birdman: Screw you!

Subzero: In meni yo! (Freezes everyone)

(Family program room)

Rion: Fine Cain I will fight you!

Cain: Bring it!

-Random TV room-

Both of them are now holding Guitar Hero guitars.

TV: Player one (Rion) wins.....again!

Cain: Ugh I just can not beat you!

Rion: Hah too bad I kicked your ass! (Rips him apart with electricity)

(A flashback from I think chapter 6 -Dorothy room-)

Demyx: Dorothy worship!

Luxord: Damn that's ugly!

Dorothy: Ok what the f--k!

Demyx: DO A HAPPY DANCE! (Throws Luxord)

Luxord is repelled of a shield.

Dorothy: I do not dance!

Demyx: (Pulls out sitar) Oh I'll make you!

A/n: If you don't know Demyx, Axel, and Luxord are from Kingdom hearts!

(Datastream)

Pat: It was doctor Pascal's last wish.

Rion: How'd she die!

Pat: Well first she came inside my house! Then she died of suffication!

(Bow chica bow bow)

End of Chap 8


	9. Radiation is still a bh

Disclaimer: Yay!

Chapter 9

(Disclaimer)

Lillia: This story contains scenes of violence and strong language. Viewer discretion is advised!

Ash: Well f--k that!

(Dorothy room)

Dorothy: CAIN WHERE'S MY SODA!

(Silence)

Dorothy: Stupid leather wearing noob!

(Uranium refinary)

Rion: Romero why did you betray us!

Romero: Ash's job for me comes with dental!

Rion:.......

Romero: Don't mock it till you try it! (Smiles and a light reflects off his teeth)

Rion: MY EYES!

(Rion's house after Birdman)

Rion: Well I'm not picking this up!

Subzero: IN MENI YO! (Freezes him)

(After Rita)

Rita: I'll see you in court bitch! (Disapears)

Rion: Well that's not the first lawsuit I get!

(Later)

Nitro: Bitch!

Rion: Your a guy it doesn't matter!

Nitro: No...I AM A WOMAN!

Rion: Holy s--t! (Shoots himself)

Me: Well Rions dead so no more GOC!

The end.....not!

(Lem's computer Room)

Lem: Grrr!

Rion: Jesus you are the guy from Yu Gi Oh.

Lem: It's time to due due due due.. due due due DUEL!

(Random room)

Lem: So I'll play Dark apple and put one card face down.

Rion: Crap.....uh one card in defence mode.

Lem: This is kinda boring.....(To self) Let me use my milenium eye! (Gags) Rion are you wearing underpants?

(Lillia's radiation days)

(Day 1)

Lillia: Radiation is a bitch!

(Day 2)

Lillia: Ow my stomach!

(Day 6)

Lillia: My brain hurts....

(Day 120)

Lillia: Meh....

(Day 369)

Lillia: I feel like I'm dying....

(Day 600)

Lillia: MY NUTRIENTS... They're.. gone!

(Day 730)

Lillia: Ow.... (Dies)

End of Chapter 9

Chapter 10 will be longer!

Like what you see.. Read my other stories I guess.................... Or not :)


	10. Epic preview!

Disclaimer: Yay!

Chapter 10

(Pat's ship)

Rion: Do you remember when Lillia's voice wasn't annoying?

Pat: No...

Rion: Neither do I!

(Dorothy Room)

Dorothy: Crap I have an itch on my back...or lack there of!

(Uranium Refinary)

Rion: I get the feeling that my fight will Ash is going to be so simple that it makes the final boss of Shadow Hearts Covenant look impossible...

(Good game, ludicrously easy final boss)

(Rion's House)

Woman: This looks like a nice place to live.

Birdman: (Goes crashing into the house and destroying it)

Man: Let's try the one down the street...

(Lin Kuie temple)

Subzero: Must freeze random video game characters!

(Refinary)

Subzero: Grr!

Ash: Oh crap!

Scorpion: (Comes out of nowhere) SUBZERO!

Subzero: SCORPION!

(Epic fight)

Ash: WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING????

Subzero and Scorpion: Your mother!

Ash: Oh....

(Reinheart's death)

Reinheart: Mother I failed!

Rion: She's not your real mom d------bag!

Reinheart: Oh...(Dies)

(Dorothy room)

Dorothy: (Tries shooting Rion with lazers)

Rion: (Runs to end of room)

Dorothy: You bastard! And where did Lillia go?

(Nail Salon: Lillia, Rita, Nitro, and Cas are there)

All: (Laughing)

(Dorothy Room)

Rion: I dunno?!

(White room)

Rion: Hello, I am Rion Steiner! Those of you who have read these chapters should know that I HATE YOU!

(Tranqulizer darts)

(Ten minuets later)

Rion: And that we love you so much that we are rewarding you with this new invention from Dorothy!

Dorothy: The invisible, weightless, non-volume taking up penguin. It is a revolutionary sight to see!

Rion: Yes so order now at- 1-800-867-5309! FOR ONLY: $9.95!

End of chapter 10

COMING SOON on GOC

Lillia: If this system gets one virus we're all screwed!

(Romances will be made!)

Romero: Random taco...I LOVE YOU!

(Tensions will rise)

Lillia: A trojan virus! From Ashpwns ! Bastards!

(Enemies will battle)

Subzero: Bring it on bitch!

Ash: It is on!

(And someone Will DIE!)

???: OMG! (Dies)

Coming soon Galerians on Crack the movie, the fanfic!


End file.
